Parenting During the World Cup: Learning to Step Back
Parenting during the World Cup… wait, you are parenting? Just kidding! As an avid soccer fan and a mother, this summer has been extra fun. My children, currently 11 and 7, are only sort of into the sport. My daughter plays, but my son prefers to "coach" from the sideline since he’s more into baseball. Still, something wonderful has come out of this season: we are finally watching soccer as a family. It has given us a beautiful opportunity to share a sport my husband and I have loved and longed to pass down since the day they were born.
But if I’m being completely honest, getting them to love sports has been a journey of letting go.
In the past, this was a major point of contention in our house. Because my husband and I love soccer so much, our kids' lack of enthusiasm felt uncomfortable and difficult to process. We wanted them to have the exact experiences we had growing up: making lifelong friends, traveling for tournaments, and riding the emotional highs and lows of the game. That sport defined our childhoods, and we naturally wanted the same magic for them.
Except, I had to remind myself: that was our experience, not theirs. You simply cannot force your children to love what you love.
Admitting that is incredibly uncomfortable. It is hard to watch your child struggle in a sport you love so much. I struggled in soccer as a child, too, but my parents—who were busy trying to survive as immigrants in a new country—weren't around to see it. Today, my husband and I are around. Because of my parents' struggle, I have always been hyper-aware of how I want to show up for my own kids. I wanted to be there for every single step.
But I have to admit, I haven't always shown up productively.
During a hard, quiet conversation recently, my daughter bravely shared something that broke my heart: she told me I wasn't supporting her on the field—I was stressing her out.
My husband and I thought we were helping. It turned out, we were just projecting.
Now, we know better. As a former player and coach, it is incredibly hard not to yell out corrections or try to make her see the open lane from the sidelines. But today, my husband and I "help" under our breath to each other instead of shouting across the field.
When those heavy feelings of wanting to control or correct bubble up, I have to pause and self-reflect. I ask myself: Why is this so important to me? Why does this discomfort feel so heavy?
There is no magic potion to make those parental expectations disappear, but I can sit with the discomfort and let it go. I can remind myself that these are my feelings and memories, not my children’s.
Today, my job isn't to pave the way for them, but to let them lead. It is to show up to every game, quiet our criticisms, and simply be their biggest fans.
To all the sports parents out there trying to balance their own passions with their children's reality: I see you. We are all learning as we go.
